Road Trip for the Princess and the Pea (Sketch)

Mattress Van

When the prince and the princess from The Princess and the Pea go out of town for a weekend getaway, I figure it looks something like this.

Mattress Van
© 2015 Ted Johnson

I Have a Few Problems With That Story

First: Monarchy.

Second: Why, for God’s sake, would a prince actively seek out a princess who is going to complain about generous hospitality? That seems more like the kind of personality quirk you find out after you’re already married, and then you just have live with it.

On the other hand, I have some sympathy for the princess. I sleep on two of these cheap mattresses made from polyurethane foam — and two is not nearly enough. Adding more would not solve the problem, because they compress in the middle and then it’s like sleeping in the bottom of a spongy canoe.

The other day I saw an impressive number of these mattresses piled up on top of a Renault van. Then I considered that the van was hauling mostly air, so I was less impressed.

I keep thinking that I will upgrade to a better mattress, but I never get around to it. So I continue sleeping those insubstantial pads of whipped rubber, and I don’t complain. Until now.

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